Cancer szn
Being six years into my cancer experience, I’m far enough in to understand that there’s no real end to the experience. It just keeps unfolding. I can’t help but notice an interesting pattern emerging: July is my busy season, cancer-wise, and also Cancer season in the (non-vedic) astrology world. Fun fact: cancer cells often have tendrils that extend out, hence their name “cancer,” as in “it looks like a crab claw.”
July 2018: I get shivering-chills-feverish sick after my mother-in-law’s memorial and find the lump in my neck (surgery ensued November 30th)
July 2022: My body is clearly giving me signals that things are out-of-whack and my bloodwork shows my tumor markers creeping up (tumor growth found on ultrasound on December 1st)
July 2023: My ultrasound shows a new tumor in my neck, just 5 months after surgery (tumor growth/tumor markers stabilize in
July 2024: My tumor markers are creeping up again, and my ultrasound appointment to get more info is two days after my Grandma’s memorial
Not exactly a stellar track record for July, as it were.
I had my 6-month ultrasound to check on things yesterday (July 18th). As I mentioned, my tumor markers had gone up slightly in the bloodwork I did last week, so it was really up to the ultrasound to show whether things looked stable or if more activity/growth was afoot.
I was slightly more anxious heading into this appointment than I had been in the past, because a year ago almost to the day was when we discovered these two new growths unexpectedly. At the time my tumor markers were oddly high after surgery, but we weren’t necessarily expecting two fully formed tumors (one still may be a cyst) so quickly. Since then though, the growth has stabilized and they remained mostly unchanged.
Although I historically don’t get nervous for scans — after all, it’s just showing things as they are — I did feel eager to get the ultrasound. My doctor does the ultrasound at her office, and kind of narrates her findings as we go along. This is highly preferable to getting it done at radiology where they’re not allowed to say anything at all, even though I know the techs can tell a tumor when they see one. After a few quick passes with the ultrasound wand and several saved snapshots, we confirmed that the same two masses are still hanging out on the left side of my neck/thyroid bed. Although not an outrageously thorough ultrasound, it was clear that things are status quo. One of the masses seemed “maybe a millimeter smaller?” but then the margin of measuring error is basically that.
The summary: same cancer, new July.
UCLA’s approach: my next ultrasound will be in January to check on things, with bloodwork just before that appointment. It’s their belief that these will just hang out, as-is, for a while.
It’s not to say my tumors would continue growing on their own, but I don’t want to discount all of the other things I’ve been doing for my health and anti-cancer protocols, plus what’s coming down the pipeline.
August: Follow-up appointment at the Angeles Clinic to see if the Tumor Board (lolll) has any recommendations based on my case. I spoke to them in spring about their approach to tyrosine kinase inhibitors, which are a type of inhibitor drug that targets the receptors specific to my mutation.
As a refresher: my tumor has characteristics of the BRAF V600e mutation, which is most commonly found in melanoma. It’s considered the “always on” genetic mutation, which for a tumor is rather smart.
Non-allopathic approach:
Biweekly and sometimes weekly acupuncture (I pulled back from weekly to cut costs)
I did several months of sound and energy healing (cot, cymatherapy, reiki, sound bowls) until I started traveling more in springtime — it’s best done in a series over several weeks
Emotional healing via talk therapy, emotion code work, acupuncture, and writing
Still working with my osteopath, nutritionist, and TCM naturopath doing things like:
Using custom herbal tonic in my daily tea
Continued use of mistletoe injections (immunotherapy)
Continued use of low-dose naltrexone (anti-inflammatory and tumor control)
Supplements of all kinds (shoutout to boswellia — I take it for anti-inflammatory purposes — that made an appearance at the Greek funeral this week via Frankincense smoke)
Homeopathic remedies
Recommendations for drugs like ivermectin and fenbendazole
CytoPhyto protocol to support my gut and detox pathways
Eating autoimmune keto (though the jury is still out on whether my body likes this or not)
Community! I recently got to attend a adventure camp through the organization First Descents, which aside from the flight there, was totally free to me. I’ll probably write about this more on my Substack in the future, but the short of it was, I spent a week in rural Washington with 11 other young adult cancer survivors white water kayaking and rafting. We had a truly amazing time. What a joy it is to make cancer jokes and people laugh freely at them! I made some wonderful friends, got to stare at rushing rivers for hours, and didn’t have to cook a single speck of food for myself. A true delight!
Kayaking on the Klickitat River
Overall I’ve been feeling somewhat less than ideal. It’s clear my body is in a big transition, spurred both by trying out ketosis/a ketogenic diet and also just in general. My hormones have been all over the place, and my brain fog is at an all time high. I’m really learning what it means to take care of myself in a society that demands I continuously move forward at a pace that I’m simply not built for (arguably most people are not either). I’ve been finding grace where I can with the fact that my strength isn’t what I’d like, my brain fog isn’t where I’d like, my digestion isn’t where I’d like, and my energy levels aren’t where I’d like.
I’m learning new ways my old self-abandoning habits show up sneakily, and I’m working on establishing what I need on all levels to be well, balanced, and at-ease. The further into this experience I get, the more I, too, believe that cancer is merely stuck energy, so I’m exploring ways to identify what those energies are.
I’ve joined the Metabolic Approach to Cancer’s Terrain Advocate Program, and it’s been very interesting to learn more about cancer from a metabolic lens. While people in the community can get both intense and preachy, I’m enjoying keeping my own energetic bubble and letting the coursework expand my curiosity. I’m also still doing my IIN Health Coaching Training, which I have so been enjoying. While it’s not all new material for me, each module has been hilariously and eerily timed to align with my own interests and cyclical revisiting of healing practices. Just trusting the process and not letting my business-mind think I should be doing more.
I feel like there was something else I was going to write here, but I’ve since forgotten. Welcome to the brain fog! Perhaps once I hit “post” it’ll all come flooding back.